Thankfully, There’s No Place Like Gnome
Hiding in plain sight and feigning innocence and merriment, garden gnomes are seeking world domination. Deceptively benign, the common garden gnome has quietly lulled citizens everywhere into a false sense if security. 
They conceal themselves behind their wheelbarrows and disarm unwary suburban dwellers with their rosy cheeks so that no one notices the weaponry they wield: rakes, shovels, and pick-axes are not harmless decorations.
My guest, Chuck Sambuchino lives in a heavily fortified home in Cincinnati, Ohio. 
He travels across America helping law enforcement agencies launch commando missions when there are immanent Gnome attacks.
Chuck Sambuchino is a certified GDE (Gnome Defense Expert) with years of experience in direct combat – guerilla lawn fare, pets, and possessions against home gnome invasions. The only published handbook of its kind, this manual features detailed plans for gnome-proofing, instructions for hand-to-hand confrontations, correct gnomenclature, guidelines for compiling an effective arsenal, illuminating case studies of human vs. gnome clashes throughout history, plus ten tips that could save your life. Learn more here.
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I have no idea what a garden gnome is really about, but those Icelanders take their elves very seriously. You need to face the wrath of the populace if you want to straighten a road, or build a Wendy’s (She is scandinavian, I think.)- where them elves live!
My people, the Irish have the Gentry, and God help who disrespect them.
There is a great forward at athe beginning of one of the older editions (maybe 10-30 years ago) of Yeats compilation the the “Irish tales of Fairies and what not….” Anyway in the forward some lucky and esteemed man was able to write his Forward to the book.
I know – I’t’s a long tale, but what else would an Irishman tell? Not much more I promise. Irishman needs to eat. But here’s what was very interesting…
He compared the written accounts of Space alien encounters with the stories of changelings, The gentry and creatures with powers. (they used to call magic)
He noted the similarities of nocturnal visitations and abductions. And why of all shapes, colors and forms, did culture settle on, “Little Green Men.”
So I guess gnomes are the ones who wear Carharts. I see them drunk, asleep by midnight. I’d worry more about THE ALIENS. Happy Halloween
Nature is more and more be destroyed, we must self-inspection
OMG!!! Me and my friend Ryan have been trying to turn people to purpleism instead of gardengnomism. People are becoming lawngnomes and arent listening, I found this site, while trying to find proof and I did.:)